Reality Sets In

This was published on July 6, 2007

Well the summer is half over. Its kind of crazy how time flies by so freaking fast. I have definetally sucked at blogging the last few months, but I guess you could say I've had a thousand other things on my mind. The summer has been pretty darn good.
I spent the first week in Colorado. I found a house and some roommates. The job search was not so successful. I have no clue what I'm going to do for a job when I get out there, but I'm not as freaked out about that as I thought I would be. I guess just more confirmation that this move is truly something outside myself and something God must really want for me. I also officially sent in my tuition check and registration form. I am officially enrolled at the Augustine Institute in Denver, CO.
The second week I spent just chilling at home. nothing too exciting, but very relaxing. The following week I headed out to Steubenville, Lancaster, and D.C. It was an awesome trip. It was good to see and hang with the old crowd. Lots of marvelously tasting beer and many good laughs.
Since being back from that trip I have moved into a house for the remainder of the summer with Andrew Lesh, gone on Knights retreat, and just hung out and relaxed. It truly has been awesome.
But reality has really begun to set in. I move in just barely over a month. Everything I have known for the last five years I will be saying goodbye to. It seems so wierd. As much as I am excited for this move and as much as I know that this is God's will for me, it doesn't make it any easier. This part of life is never fun. The cross part. You know the part where you have to lose something in order to gain another thing. The part where you have to suffer before you can experience joy. I'm standing at the threshhold of my cross. I can see it. There is a part of me that really is not looking forward to picking it up, but another part of me that wants to run towards it and embrace it, because I know what awaits me out there. That is the amazing thing about the cross of Christ, its that with it comes a resurrection.
Call me over dramatic. Yes this very much is in many ways a small cross compared to what others are facing in life. None the less It is a cross I am about to expereince. But as I said, bring on the pain, because I know after the tough part of all this is over, God has some amazing things in store for me. I have no idea what they are but I trust that they are better than anything I can imagine, because his plan has always been way better than my plan. That is what keeps me going, the hope of what awaits me when the hard part ends. I cling to that and remind myself of that every time I think about how hard it is going to be to leave this place. Five years ago I arrived here broken, alone, upset at God for bringing me here instead of New Orleans, for bringing me to a place away from all my college friends when all of them where some place with at least a small group of steubenville grads. But that was the suffering part, and when that ended what I have left is one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. The experience of teaching at the most amazing school, encountering some incredilbe friendships, and the joy of God using me to affect so many lives. The relationships I have built here will carry me through to the next point on my journey.
So it will be hard it will be tough, but in the end God knows what he is doing and I am so very excited to experience the resurrection that will come from this cross.