The Great Adventure

This was published on October 22, 2008

Jeff Cavins created a Bible Study several years ago called The Great Adventure Bible Timeline Study. For those of you who have never heard of it, it is simply a brief big picture overview of the entire Bible. I remember taking part in the study the summer after my first year of teaching and then going back and incorporating information from it into my Old Testament class.
Now bear in mind this actually has very little to do with Old Testament itself rather more of what took place in those classes where Old Testament was supposed to be the subject. I'm still muddling through things I was dealing with when I posted the last blog last week so I thought it would be therapeutic as well as entertaining to my readers to post some of my favorite moments in 5 years of teaching. Some will be very funny and some will just be just plain sentimental. Chances are some of them will be moments you had to be there for, but whatever. Well, here goes, these 5 years were truly a Great Adventure!
1. Year 1: Alex Marion asks if I have ever read the Bible cover to cover. Of which I respond that I'm working on it. He replies, "Man I'd never do that unless it was one of those pocket sized versions"...enough said.
2. Year 1: I'm grading Tests. The Question is, What is the sign of the Covenant with Abraham? The student answers: Castration.
3. Year 1: I meet Nathan Jones in my 6th hour Old Testament class. Little does this kid know that he will end up being an example to me as he takes on a battle with cancer a few years later with a more faithfilled and brave attitude than I would expect anyone to, much less a 17 year old kid.
4. Year 1: A Girl in my class tells me her mother and father recently got divorced and asks me if I would like to be set up with her mom. She says I could be her new daddy. No, joke this happened!
5. Year 1: A girl in my class asks me how many more notes we have because her hand hurts. I look at her and tell her, "Well now you're back's gonna hurt cause you just pulled landscaping duty." She didn't get it, but the rest of the class did and laughed.
6. Year 2: We're discussing Abraham and circumcision again. Dante seems really disturbed by this. When I tell him he has probably been circumcised and that most males today are at birth he gets really offended. Dante thought Circumcision was the same thing as Castration.
7. Year 2: Tonette Freeman raises her hand while we were talking about Joshua and Jericho and asks, "Where the walls of Jericho man made or natural"? I being perplexed by the questions say, "Well when is the last time you saw walls spring up out of the ground?" In the back of class Blake and Andy start laughing and making fun of her. I tell them, "Calm down guys, be nice, not everyone's hamster turns the wheel as fast as others." To which Toni replies, "Huh? I don't have a Hamster, I had a Girbble once, but it died".
8. Year 2: Amanda Nyguen and Brooke Strathe would argue with me every time I handed something back. The difference: Amanda would win and usually get a higher grade, Brooke would lose. I think this resulted in Brooke hating me for a couple years after that, hahaha.
9. Year 2: Ryan Sagesar was the man you wanted in any group project I assigned. He and his group would make the most amazing and hilarious Old Testament movies. All I have to say is John Cooper + Bathsheba + Hot Tob = Very Bad idea!
10. Year 2: I taught the entire class of 2007 that year. They made my teaching experience what it was.
11. Year 2: I'm turned around at the board writing something when I hear, "Sick its all over me, disgusting". I turn around to find Eric Smeltzer sitting at his desk with a look of shock on his face and a sauce packet of Taco Bell Hot Sauce in his hands. Apparently he had been playing with it and did not expect it to explode all over the class room.
12. Year 2: Sarah Lopez and Jocelyn Rodriguez brought in Krispy Kreme Donughts and tried to pass them off as homemade Jewish Hannuka Donughts. I was never more angry and amused at the same time!
13. Year 3: Bart Voegeli and Andrew Dort in the same class. Those two thought they had Theology degrees for some reason and would argue with me about EVERYTHING. As annoying as they were some times, they definetally kept class entertaining.
14. Year 3: In my 6th hour CSD class, every time I said the word "duty" in relationship to having some sort of social responsibility it was followed by little laughs from Josh Dostert and Jared Linn and them saying "haha doodie"!
15. Year 3: I gave Eric Smeltzer a demerit for inappropriate display of affection. All because he slapped John Rice's Ass! Hands down, best demerit I ever gave!
16. Year 3: Daniel Hoffman walks by me eating a cookie (you can't have food in the hallway) right after he walks past Mr. Krotz, looks at me and says, "What a dumb ass, I can't believe he didn't see me and didn't give me a demerit." I thought to myself, wow, who is really the dumb ass? And then asked him for his demerit card. Second best demerit I ever gave.
17. Year 3: Jared Linn asks me to be his confirmation sponsor.
18. Year 4: Here comes the class of 2007 again. Zack Steffen buys me a Gonzo muppets doll to go with my nickname, Gonzo.
19. Year 4: Andy Jonas and Brett McClernon dressing like women in very immodest clothing to demonstrate how not to dress during our lesson on etiquette.
20. Year 4: Andy Jonas texting me (Wonder how he got my number? Thanks Brett!) in the middle of class saying sorry for the class' behavior and begging me to not make them stay after the bell.
21. Year 4: Taking my 5th hour class outside and allowing them to take water balloons. Little did I know that every single one of them under the leadership of Matt Rosenhammer would throw all the balloons at me.
22. Year 4: Meeting Josh, Scott, Nick, Ben, Bishop, Drew, and Garett by having them in class. I would later meet Justin, Clay, and K Long through them.
23. Year 4: Getting to make fun of Drew in class everyday. Especially the day I made him feel really bad for bringing up a past relationship of mine. I made him feel like I was still completely wrapped up in it and that he had brought out a major wound. The rest of the day people kept coming up to me saying Drew felt really bad and was looking for me to apologize.
24. Year 4: Getting to see Drew and Gretchen's love blossom in my 2nd hour Old Testament Class
25. Year 4: Getting in Water Fights with Thomas Ronck all year. One time he came into my 6th hour class and started squirting away in the midst of the brawl the computer started to slip off the desk, luckily either Adam Capps or Chaz caught it before it fell. As they remind me, they saved my job that day, hahaha.
26. Year 4: March for Life Trip to D.C. Great talk with T.J. one night and Mr. G's bus o fun!
27. Year 5: Nick Seiler, Scott Cooper, Josh Rohleder, Stephen Bishop, and Mike McClernon all ask me to be their Confirmation Sponsor.
28. Year 5: Brett Makes a Touch down at the football game that takes place the same day as Ryan Sagesar's funeral. John Rice, a survivor of the plane crash that killed Ryan, is sitting on a couch at the end zone. As Brett makes the touch down he points the football at John. It gave me chills, I was so proud of Brett that day.
29. Year 5: I was so proud of the way everyone came together to help each other through Ryan's death.
30. Year 5: Noah Gear would always fall asleep in my 5th hour class. So one day I let him sleep, right through the bell and right into the first part of 6th hour. He woke up in my room about 5 minutes into 6th hour completely angry to discover that a new period had started. He was late to his next class, I refused to give him a pass.
31. Year 5: We had a special schedule at Carroll when we had a special activity that would require students to go to 5th hour before 4th hour. Tony Brandt used to tell me he would stand in the hall and yell 4th before 5th on regular schedule days and it would confuse kids, even though he was saying what it actually was. I decided to try that several times my last year at Carroll. Man was it funny to watch those poor freshmen get all frazzled.
32. Year 5: The Seniors last day, Danielle Dugan and Garrett Seiler come and say goodbye, only to find out it was merely a distraction for Thomas Ronck to come and pie me in the face!
33. Year 5: March for Life Trip: Senior Bus, Chicken Ceasar Wrap! (Sorry you'll only get this if you were there).
34. Year 5: The Last day before Spring Break. Its round 1 of the NCAA tournament. I decide we should watch the game 7th hour. Well since I had a special Antenna and I'm one of the only rooms getting reception, I end up with over 60 kids crammed into my room from all different classes watching the game!
35. Year 5: Watching the class of 2007 graduate.
36. Year 5: During a Socratic Seminar on the Death Penalty Jordan Neville plays Devils advocate and has the entire class pissed at him. Corrie threatens to take off her show and throw it at him. Hands down one of the best and funniest arguments I have ever seen.
37. Year 5: Tyler Walden making sarcastic and very intelligent comments that noone in class except myself would understand. He was freaking hilarious.
38. Year 5: Someone turns in a REFLECTION paper (as in, no wrong answer) that is the exact same as someone I had had the previous semester. I found it odd that two people who are not even brothers could have the exact same life.
39. Year 5: I was chosen to kiss a pig at the homecoming pep rally. Well the real pig fell through so it ended up being Daniel Hoffman in a pig outfit.
40. Year 5: Dressing up as a Hippie for Homecoming week, I looked awesome!
There are tons more but its getting long and these are just the highlights. Whereever my former students are, thank you for making my life great for those five years. I'm praying for all of you. Please pray for me. It truly was an adventure. Hopefully I'll be teaching again in a year!