This post was published on July 18, 2006
Have you ever heard the song "Shifting Sand" by Cademon's Call? Well if you have that is basically what I'm feeling like these days. If you haven't it is a song about a person who has faith, knows it to be real, but just can't get their act together and live it. They continually allow themselves to be influenced by the world around them. I've become very complacent. I need a kick in the ass. I need a fire lit under me big time.
This has been the most unproductive summer of my life. Yes I've been going to mass almost everyday but outside of that my prayer life sucks. I haven't been reading a damn thing and I feel like all I do is waste time. Yes my evenings are spent being with people I love and I get a work out in during the day, but seriously outside of that I feel like I spend hours sitting around doing NOTHING. I can't seem to find the motivation.
I know what I need to do. But for some reason I'm simply not doing it. Why is that? Why in the world am I not taking the betterment of my soul more seriously. In summers past I always spent time reading something spiritual and making sure I got in some good solid prayer time. For some reason this summer It's not happening. I need to just do it, but man it's rough.
School will be starting again soon and if I'm not on fire then I have no buisness teaching. If anything I need to start worrying about my soul for the sake of the 150 souls I will be placed in charge of forming come August.
Ok so here is my resolution. I'm going to start back up with liturgy of the hours and I'm going to force my self to read some sort of spiritual book. I'm going to continue with mass and hopefully I'll start to ease my rosary back in.
I'm leaving to help chaperone the Steubenville Youth Conference in Denver on Friday. I only hope and pray that I can be open to the Holy Spirit as well and that it helps me jump start this dying battery within me.
I love my faith. But man it sure would be easier if I could just live it without going through these ups and down all the time. God is awesome but sometimes I take my eyes of the cross and glue them to the things of this world. I imagine we all go through times like these. But it is time for me to man up. Ok Mary help me get up and Jesus give me the strength to be the man you want me to be. Here goes, time to stop wasting time. I'm getting off the sand and I'm going to get myself on some good solid ground!