On Tuesday I went to work out for the first time since Sophia arrived. I got on the treadmill and as I was running thought to myself, “The last time I was here Sophia wasn’t born yet. Wow! I know it has only been 4 days since the last time I was here but it feels like a lifetime ago.” All of a sudden my world pre-Sophia began to feel like a very distant memory. A smile came to my face. Everything in my life leading up to this point had been wonderful but from here on out I knew I never wanted to go back. I never wanted to know what life was like without Sophia in it again. It is crazy how quickly that feeling sets in.
God has molded me in very different ways throughout every part of my life. In my childhood he showed me His great love through the presence of my family. In High School he started re-building self-confidence in me I had somehow lost along the way and brought me to an encounter with my faith that started the journey I’m on today. In college he affirmed my manhood and brought a lot of healing to my life through the amazing brotherhood I had with my household and gave me a deep and abiding love for His Church. In my first years of teaching He showed me how to grow in patience, trust, and instilled deeper virtue within me. Through my years in graduate school God showed me true abandonment to divine providence. He stripped me of my desire and need to always be in control and showed me how to rely on nothing except for Him. It was in this moment of finally relinquishing control that He brought Mary Beth into my life. Through our time of engagement and first year back to teaching in Wichita God continued to prepare me for this moment as He showed me how to love even when it was difficult. He showed me what it means to truly enter into the covenant of marriage. Throughout our first year of marriage God showered us with many graces and taught us how to love one another more profoundly and work on our relationship. I firmly believe that every one of those moments and times in my life have been moments of grace to prepare me to be a father. I am not fully aware of the ways God is going to continue to shape and mold me throughout this experience of being a father but I have a feeling it will be full of joy, excitement, happiness, heartache, pain, and sheer bliss. I am excited to see where life takes our little family from here.