I am about to begin week 4 of teaching. Life really never seems to slow down. It has been one month and two days since the move back to Wichita. In many ways it seems like I never left and I have been able to slip right back into life here. But in other ways I know life is radically different than it was three years ago. I have a beautiful fiancée who I am planning a wedding with. I am trying to help Mary Beth adjust to life here. She has given up so much to move here and for that I am forever grateful. In many ways I can see she loves it but I also know she is struggling and having a tough time with the transition. I have a Masters degree now. I am so grateful for the knowledge I received at the AI and I truly feel like it is making me a better teacher.
I remember my first night back here. I had just left the Brandt’s from helping Mary Beth unload her stuff. I was in my new room surrounded by a sea of boxes. I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of joy to be back but at the same time a deep sense of loss for the life I left behind in Denver. There is no way this transition would be nearly as easy without Mary Beth. But nonetheless even when change comes and I want it there always seems to be some sense of loss that comes with it.
At the same time I know this is where God wants us for now. I have the best job in the world. Nothing brings me greater joy than sharing Christ in the classroom and nothing brings me greater joy than to do it at Bishop Carroll. It is an amazing school with incredible students and an administration that I am proud to work for. In many ways things haven’t changed much around Carroll, same students just different faces, same schedule and routine. But in other ways there is a new and exciting adventure with it. A whole new wing of the building has been added. There is a brand new activities complex. The new gym is beautiful and is a testament to the amazing generosity and stewardship way of life that the people of this diocese have embraced. It is actually kind of nice to be teaching a whole new set of students I have never taught before. I get so excited to wake up every morning and go teach. It is so humbling to be given the opportunity to be able to have the opportunity to share the Gospel with young souls. I gave a test earlier this week and as I walked around the room I paused for a moment and looked around the room. I remember being in awe of God’s plan for my life and being so thankful for every student in the room. I asked God to bless them and guide them as they took their test. I don’t think I’ve ever had this strong a desire for every student of mine to get to Heaven.
I didn’t realize how much my experience in Denver had changed me until I started teaching again. Don’t get me wrong I still had a desire for the salvation of my students before and still tried very hard to love them and teach them to the best of my ability but something in me is different and it is hard to explain. I feel settled. I feel at peace. I feel more patient and loving. I feel more in love with my subject. I feel more connected to Christ in prayer. I feel the flame of Faith burning brighter than it ever has in me. I just pray God continues to use me in the way He sees fit.
Life has fallen into a routine around here. The alarm goes off at 4:50 a.m. I go work out at the Y then I go teach for the day. Then I meet Mary Beth for 5:30 p.m. mass after work. Then we spend some time in Adoration followed by dinner. Then we spend some time either just hanging out or doing wedding planning. It in many ways seems uneventful and ordinary but when I know it is exactly what God wants me to be doing it is far from uneventful it is an adventure that I am thrilled to be on. Every moment of saying yes to my King and cooperating with His grace even in those moments that I really didn’t want to has brought me to here and here is exactly where I am happy to be, because here is God’s plan and that is way better than anything I would have been able to come up with. From here the journey continues and I am excited for what He will continue to do and show me throughout this year and the rest of my life!
Praise God from whom all Blessings Flow!
2 comments:
Beautiful reflection, Jose. I can say my grad experience through/at Stubie provided similar effects in my service at SJCNC over the years. Keep serving the Church, brother - God does not clumsily impart joy without purpose.
Very Nice. You have developed a way with words my friend. There is a mature wisdom that flows through with honest sincerity. Any student would be blessed to have you as a teacher.
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