Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Living In the Moment

I am about two months away from taking my last graduate school final and and then graduating. It is hard to believe that the two years of grad school I moved out here for are almost up. It feels like just yesterday I was packing my life away and leaving Wichita. Time really does fly and it seems to moving even faster as I get older. I can't belive it has been 7 years since I finished undergrad. My 10 year High School Reunion took place this past fall. Life has definetally been an adventure and I look forward to what is next. But I also can't forget to live in the now and cherish every moment.

The common human tendency is to constantly worry abou the future. We constantly live in worry or excitedment of what is to come. And who can blame people given the current economic climate of things. But you know what? When we do that we might miss something incredible that God is trying to teach us or show us right then. St. Thomas Aquinas talks about how too much worry and anxiety about the future can even be a sin. Plus he says that it is pointless because God gives us grace to deal with trials in the moment. If we spend time worrying about future trials it can cause us a lot of undue anxiety because we haven't been given the grace to deal with them yet, but we will when the time comes.

I have always known this in a sense but it really hit me last night while I was in prayer. I was reading one of the letters Catherine of Sienna wrote to her brother who was dealing with some struggles in his life. Catherine urged him to deal with them patiently and to live for today because life is so short and we can't be certain that tomorrow will even come. I've been doing a lot of worrying lately about the fall and what job I will have, where I will live and how it will all play out. While I have to do what is necissary to secure a job upon graduation I need to not worry so much. God is in control and he will take care of all of it. I only have a few months left here in Denver and I need to soak it in. I'm actually enjoying my Thesis so I should soak in the time I have writing it. I need to soak in what I have left of class. I'm never going to have an opportunity again like this one. Yeah its tough and stressful in many ways but as I look back I have enjoyed it immensely despite the difficulties and trials. I want to continue to cherish what I have left.

I've gotten to go skiing a few times. I've gone on some incredible hikes. I've gotten the opportunity to work for some amazing people that have really helped me grow so much: Fr. Kevin, Jim Beckman, Fr. Payo. I've gotten to learn under some of the most incredible professors: Dr. Reyes, Dr. Gray, Prof. Innerest, Dr. Sri. I've fallen in love with my faith all over again in a more powerful way than I ever thought possible. My view of the world has changed dramatically, it has become more Catholic. I've made some really great friends: Dave, Steve, Jon, John, Wendy, etc. I've gotten to reconnect with old friends: Hugh and Pete. I've met the love of my life. Mary Beth has been such a blessing and calmed me down big time. I'm in my most stressful semester of school and I'm the least stressed I've been out of all the other semesters. I think she is a big reason for that. I've had the joy of witnessing former students work for me through Totus Tuus. This list could go on and on. The good of the decision to come out here definetally outwieghs the bad.

And so I'm here with only a few months remaining. I pray that I can soak it all in and cherish every last moment. Enjoy this time with Mary Beth. Enjoy the friendships I have made. Enjoy the learning and reading. Enjoy another summer of Totus Tuus and the beauty of Colorado!

I have an interview at Bishop Carroll next month some time. I'm not sure what will happen. I do ask for all your prayers that it work out but for the time being I'm going to try really hard and not worry about it. TODAY is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!


Dave H said...

Well said, bro -- reality is now.
Thanks for the reminder, and your friendship!

Kristi said...

Excellent blog! And I totally hear ya on the not having anxiety about the future thing... I really need to work on that! Thanks, friend!!!

Anonymous said...

Awwww, this is why we're friends! Thank you for the words of STA and SCS......and at the risk of worrying about the future, does Mary Beth know we're going to have Starbucks dates without her OR Joseph when you move back home? ;)