Brother to Brother

Over the past week one of my Household brothers from Steubenville has been posting old videos from our time there on youtube. It has been so cool to watch those. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. These moments captured on video have brought me laughter, joy, tears, and profound thanksgiving. To watch these videos brought me back to such a formative time in my life. My time in Steubenville, specifically with the Knights of the Holy Queen, has profoundly affected who I am. My brothers there have left a profound mark on my soul. These guys have seriously been and continue to be some of my best friends. We are separated by hundreds and even thousands of miles today but the brotherhood continues. We have an e-mail list that results in 30-40 e-mails sometimes throughout the day. Some of them are completely hilarious and stupid, some of them consist of vents and rants, and others are profound and draw me into deeper prayer. These guys continue to challenge me to grow and continue to be a source of joy and inspiration. They help me to laugh and love life so much.

For so many of my friends and family that didn't go to Steubenville they don't quite get or understand the bond that is formed between us. A lot of my friends ask how it is that I'm still so close to some of my friends from College. All I know is that Mary has made us brothers and Christ binds us in a way I can't quite explain. I know that if I fall these men will be the first to pick me up. I know that I will drop anything to be there for any one of them. 7 years out of college and I have literally kept in touch with some of these guys over the phone every week for the last seven years. Three of these men are going to be groomsmen in my wedding. Several others will be present to celebrate with me. All I know is that these men are truly my extended family. I would not be the man I am today without them.

The relationship I have with these guys is always a constant reminder that I cannot live the Christian life without help. We are created for relationship. To think that we can battle this world and the enemy on our own is to have lost already. We need community. We need people who will call us out on our failings and challenge us to be better. We need people who are there praying for us and encouraging us along the way. I know in my own life I have had some tough times and fallen hard. I don't know that I would have had the strength to get back up without the help of my brother Knights.

These men have taught me what it truly means to be a man. They have taught me the meaning of sacrifice. They have taught me how to treat women properly. They have taught me to fight for my soul with resilience, to truly battle and persevere until the last day. These men have taught me to be real and live Christianity in a truly human way. These men have taught me that there is a way to live my faith in a way that is attractive and joyful. Thank you brothers for showing me how to be a true man of God!

I Am Captivated By You

I am down to three weeks left in Denver. Its hard to believe my time here is coming to an end. For so long I couldn’t wait to get out of here and now I’m beginning to realize that this is going to be a lot harder than I anticipated. Don’t get me wrong I’m so excited to be teaching again and especially teaching again at Carroll. I’m excited to be around so many people I love again. I know without a doubt that this is God’s will for me and the future is incredibly hopeful. I’m beyond excited for Mary Beth to be a part of this journey and to begin planning our lives together. Despite all this confidence in God’s plan and the joys of teaching it still doesn’t make it easy. I’m a person that has never done really well with change even when I want it.

God has blessed me so much in the last couple years. They have been some of the hardest but I have come out with some of the greatest gifts I could ever imagine. I never thought I would meet someone like Mary Beth by the end of my time here. I haven’t made a ton of friends out here but the ones I have made have become incredibly dear to me and the times I have spent with them have been some of the best of my life. I have experienced God’s majesty in the mountains. I have tried my hand at skiing. I have learned under some incredible professors and gained a new love and appreciation for my faith. I have been challenged and grown in so many ways. God has captivated my heart in a powerful way through my experiences here and for that I am forever grateful.

Over Fourth of July Weekend I went camping in the mountains with some friends. We spent the first night camping on Cotton Wood Pass and then went on to Crested Butte. This by far had to be the most gorgeous part of Colorado I had ever been in. The Drive was breath taking. On Sunday of the trip a bunch of us crammed into a Jeep Wrangler and went four wheeling up a mountain. On the way up the mountain we were listening to the song Captivated by Shawn McDonald. It was the first time I had heard the song and honestly it spoke to me because it honestly encapsulated everything I have experienced in the last two years. Here are the lyrics:

When I look into the mountains
I see Your fame
When I look into the night's sky
It sparkles Your name

The wind and the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high
That's what draws me to You

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

When I wake unto the morning
It gives me Your sight
When I look across the ocean
It echoes Your might

The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me
That's what draws me to You

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

'Cause I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

The wind and the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high
The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me

The blood in my veins and my heart You invade
The plants how they grow and the tree and their shade
The way that I feel and love in my soul
I thank you my God for letting me, letting me know

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

'Cause I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

At that moment with the mountains in front of us, streams and waterfalls to our left and the laughter and joy of good friends I felt completely enveloped in the Father’s Love. I felt so intensely loved by God at that moment. All I could think about was how thankful I was for Mary Beth, the job waiting for me in Wichita, and the great friends He had blessed me with here.

Since that trip has ended the days seem to be going faster and my time to enjoy Denver is speeding past me. I’m trying t savor every moment that is left. I’m enjoying spending more time with Mary Beth than I was able to during school. I’m enjoying time with some great friends out here and I am continually trying to enjoy what is left of this precious gift God blessed me with for two years.

As I return to Wichita I will leave here a little sad but I am so excited for what is in store for me there. Even though I am going back home it is not the continuation of what was before it is the beginning of a new chapter in my life. And despite the difficulties that will come with it I continue to be captivated by my Father and the blessings that will come from this experience.

Living the Dream

It has been quite some time since I've blogged. Life has kept me quite busy in the last month and a half since I last posted anything. God has been showering his blessings upon me and I have absolutely nothing to complain about these days (I mean there is always Obama and Liberals but we won't go there this time) :)!

Starting in January my life really started to hit a turning point. It has honestly been nothing but uphill since then and right now I feel like I'm at the top of the mountain simply soaking in and enjoying God's Glory. I am for the first time in a long time simply resting in my Father's love and it is awesome!

These last two years have been some of the toughest since I finished my undergrad but the suffering has produced some amazing fruit in my life. In December I started dating an amazing girl. Mary Beth has challenged me to grow in so many ways and makes me want to be Holy more than any other woman I have ever met. In January the whole prayer thing sunk in more than ever and as my prayer life has grown my love has grown tremendously. In April I was offered a position back at Bishop Carroll. In May I defended my Thesis, took my last final, and graduated with my MA in Evangelization and Catechesis. The biggest shock and honor of that was finding out I was Valedictorian. I so did not deserve that but God for some reason bestowed that on me. I was honored to give a speech in front of my professors, classmates, family, Archbishop Chaput, and Cardinal Arinze (speech posted below if you want to read it). It was so awesome to experience that.

From graduation life moved into full force Totus Tuus mode. Training started a week after Graduation at St. Malo retreat center in the Mountains. This year was an incredibly blessed training. We have some incredible teachers with us, some of the best I've ever seen. I got to spend a great week hanging out with Fr. Kevin and Steve. It was also great to have Drew and Clay added to the Totus Tuus mix. God really drew me closer to Him that week and gave me some great opportunities to teach and grow in brotherhood with Steve and Father Kevin.

Then came one of the best days of my life. The Monday after training ended was mine and Mary Beth’s 6-month anniversary. On that day I took her hiking in the mountains and on the way to lunch we stopped at the Chapel on the Rock at St. Malo and I asked her to marry me. She said yes! We are both super happy and excited. The wedding is set for July 3, 2010 at St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Church in Wichita, KS.

Since then it has just continued to be awesome. I've been spending time with Mary Beth and just enjoying being engaged and each other without the stress of school finally. I've also been enjoying time with friends and my last couple months in Denver. Its honestly beginning to feel very bitter sweet that I'm moving. I'm so excited to be in the classroom again and to move home but I'm actually going to miss this place and some of the friendships I've made here, not to mention the weather and the mountains.

This last Saturday was also pretty incredible. I climbed a 14er for the first time, Mt. Bierstadt. It was so awesome and such an intense experience but worth every ounce of it. It honestly felt like such an analogy to my life, heck the Christian life in general. The climb was tough and physically draining. The air thinned, it was an uphill battle. At moments you felt like turning back but I refused and pushed myself incredibly hard to get to the top. All along the way all of us that climbed together encouraged each other and helped each other out. It was hard but I felt encouraged, loved, and safe because of the community of people I climbed with. At the top all the difficulty faded. I experienced such a sense of accomplishment. The view was incredible, probably the most beautiful view I've ever experienced. It felt on top of the world. I felt bathed in the Glory of God.

Life is definitely a roller coaster. I've had some rough times but right now I'm basking in the good ones. I know rough times will come again but as always God will give me the grace to get through them. Melissa is coming to visit today so she can meet Mary Beth. I can't wait to see her. She leaves Friday and then it’s off to camp in the mountains for 4th of July weekend! T-minus 4 weeks and 6 days left in Colorado. I'm going to savor every moment and continue to rest in my Father's love. For all you Kansas folk: can't wait to come home and have you all get to know Mary Beth more!